Image source: http://www.scottliddell.net/
The reality is that the ups and downs I experience now in my day to day life are just that, they are the normal ups and downs of day to day life. Sometimes, as I commented on my earlier depression post, just a few days ago, I will step into the shade but I'm not falling into the depths of despair anymore.
I am struggling to accept that depression is most likely something I will experience on and off for the rest of my life, but now I have some coping tools and ways of recognising when I am struggling. More importantly, I've learnt how to open up to those closest to me and ask for help when I need it.
One of my biggest breakthroughs in therapy was when my psychologist told me that I did not have to have everything all together. More than anything the pressure I was putting on myself to be the perfect mother and the perfect housewife was an high and unachievable standard. I'm not sure why it took someone in a position of 'authority' telling me that for it to finally get through to me, but it has.
I decided to retest myself using the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale. Back in March I scored a 21, and during the course of my treatment and other tests I took my score got as high as 37/40. Today I'm sitting at 8, and anything under 10 is considered 'normal'.
This is good. :) I'm out of therapy but if I ever need to go back, now I have someone to go to and feel no shame in asking for help.
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