Friday 30 July 2010

Depression: Four Months Later


It's pretty amazing what a lot of therapy and the right medication can do in just four short months. Though the truth is, I find it almost impossible to believe it's only been four months since I sought help for my depression. But here we are on the other side, a place that at times it felt like I would never ever get to. I can't say that life is perfect, but then nobodies life is perfect and if they say it is then they've got to be lying!

The reality is that the ups and downs I experience now in my day to day life are just that, they are the normal ups and downs of day to day life. Sometimes, as I commented on my earlier depression post, just a few days ago, I will step into the shade but I'm not falling into the depths of despair anymore.

I am struggling to accept that depression is most likely something I will experience on and off for the rest of my life, but now I have some coping tools and ways of recognising when I am struggling. More importantly, I've learnt how to open up to those closest to me and ask for help when I need it.

One of my biggest breakthroughs in therapy was when my psychologist told me that I did not have to have everything all together. More than anything the pressure I was putting on myself to be the perfect mother and the perfect housewife was an high and unachievable standard. I'm not sure why it took someone in a position of 'authority' telling me that for it to finally get through to me, but it has.

I decided to retest myself using the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale. Back in March I scored a 21, and during the course of my treatment and other tests I took my score got as high as 37/40. Today I'm sitting at 8, and anything under 10 is considered 'normal'.

This is good. :) I'm out of therapy but if I ever need to go back, now I have someone to go to and feel no shame in asking for help.
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