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I've been a Mummy to two little girls for three weeks now. The transition was easier than I expected, but there are still very rough moments, generally related to lack of sleep. Desana has adjusted really easily to not being an only child anymore. I would say she is testing her boundaries more, but it's hard to know if that's because she knows I'm busy with the baby or because she's two years old. The only hard part for her seemed to be accepting my nursing the baby as well as her. Having to share. She cried the first few times she saw Freya nursing, and I told her that she has to share now. I try to make time for her to nurse at least once a day, but it's difficult. Freya seems to sense it and start to fuss.I haven't made the time to write Freya's birth story, I should make sure I do before too much time passes. Very summarised, labour started with my water breaking and Freya was born about ten hours later... exactly the same as with Desana! Also another planned homebirth, although I did not make it into the birth pool this time around for various reasons. It was good, although my recollections of the experience are overshadowed by my memory of the big bleed I had about four hours later, having to have pitocin through an IV and narrowly avoiding transfer to hospital. It was a very frightening and painful experience, and although I love homebirth and am very concerned about having a hospital birth, I think I might have to for baby #3. I just don't know if I can take that kind of risk, knowing that generally you bleed heavier with each baby. I wish I didn't have that problem because otherwise my body does so well with labour! I'm going to talk with my attending midwife about it next week for her professional opinion, but we most likely won't need to really worry about it for a few more years.
I have a lot more to say and will hopefully get into a habit of posting, typing one-handed while nursing! I guess overall I'm glad with how well things are going. My house is generally tidier than I would expect, I'm keeping us all fed and clothed, haven't had too many breakdowns. I'm my harshest critic and I am trying to judge myself the way I would judge someone else. I just had a baby three weeks ago, it's ok if I don't have it all together.
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