Image source: Barbara Cannela
1pm. We just enjoyed a good lunch and the girls are down for their afternoon nap. I clean up the kitchen dishes, check on what is for dinner then settle down in front of the computer to do some catch-up work on my blogging e-course. Then I read some blogs, answer some e-mails and make some progress on some projects that have been in the works for way too long.
It's 8pm. Both kids are sound asleep in their room. I snuggle under a comfy blanket on the couch, sipping from my large mug of hot chocolate and enjoying a cookie or two. The perfect time to catch up on some pre-recorded tv or immerse myself in a good book that deserves my complete attention.
It's any darn time I feel like it. I get to close the bathroom door, turn on the fan for some noise and take a long luxurious pampering shower with no knock on the door, no distantly heard screaming or wailing.
Uninterrupted.
It's... a few months from now? Freya is easily walking and able to express herself enough to clearly indicate her wants and needs. The girls play happily with each other, easily entertained and safe to leave alone for more than a few minutes at a time.
In my dreams people, in my dreams.
A few months back as I started therapy, I started investigating who I was as a person, and what it was I was interested in, independent of the mother and wife gig. I asked an online group of women who I consider close friends, what it is they do that is a hobby. Almost without exception, they replied they don't have time for hobbies, motherhood is all consuming (my words, not theirs).
Motherhood is not an easy gig. If they warn you of that before you are a mother, you don't believe them. Or you do, but until it happens, you can't really comprehend it. You are on call 24/7. If you don't place priority on maintaining some sense of self, apart from your external roles, it can all get very overwhelming.
Desana has been waking up before me, and since she can open doors now even with the kid lock on, she gets in to all kinds of trouble. Recently I had put some teabags out on the counter in a nice little container to remind myself to take the time to enjoy some tea once in awhile. I no longer had the package and didn't know what flavour it was but the scent reminded me of roses and was absolutely divine.
That was until Desana made some for me.
Ingredients: 1 unsupervised two year old
two dozen teabags
glass cup
tap water
dishwashing liquid
Yum yum yum!
Reality is that it is 2:15 am and I am only awake because Desana is. Apparently midnight is morning in her books. I tried everything to get her to sleep but everytime she heard our door close she started wailing. So I took Freya out of our bed so there was no risk of her falling off with only Matt being there, and we've been hanging out ever since. Freya is still asleep, Desana is not. Me? I could be. Oh how I could.
I figured I owed you a blog post anyway. Wish me a sleep-in! I'm going to need it.
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